The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool. — Richard P. Feynman

Friday, October 5, 2012

In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support...

Pam Geller is not a good person. As everybody probably knows by now, she's been fighting for a while to get some rather unpleasant posters put up in the advertising space of various transit systems around the country. The ads say:
In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the civilized man.
Defend freedom.
Defeat jihad.
(Others say, "Support Israel." instead of "Defend Freedom.") Here's a picture of one of the posters:

I am, to put it mildly, not a fan of jihad, or even of moderate Islam. But Geller has a history of exaggerating her fears of Islam to the point of virulent xenophobia and racism. And these ads' simplistic portrayal of the myriad conflicts that have arisen over the past several years involving predominantly Islamic cultures and western nations as simply a war between "civilized men" and "savages" is pretty clearly more of the same. I can certainly see why the MTA and other transit systems have tried to argue that the ads don't meet their advertising standards, and I can also see why some people are sufficiently pissed off that the ads have been allowed as to vandalize them.

But other people have complained that those who are simply destroying the ads are attempting to suppress Geller's freedom of speech — by simply covering up or taking down an ad, one is preventing others from seeing the message. So here's a better idea: parody the damn things to death by tweaking them just a tiny bit. I've listed below a few possibilities that I came up with. Perhaps you can think of some even better ones?

  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support THE PEACEMAKER. Defend HUMANITY. Defeat THE WARMONGERS.
  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support THE WOMEN. Defend 51% OF THE HUMAN SPECIES. Defeat SEXISM.
  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support THE ONES WHO AREN’T A BUNCH OF FUCKING RACISTS. Defend EQUALITY. Defeat XENOPHOBIA.
  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support OUR NEW ROBOT OVERLORDS. Defend LOGIC. Defeat SQUISHY GROSS MEAT THINGS.
  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support JUDGE DREDD. Defend MEGA-CITY ONE. Defeat PERPS.
  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support A TOMATO. Defend FISH. Defeat MAUVE.
  • In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support THE TOTAL THERMONUCLEAR DESTRUCTION OF ALL LIFE ON EARTH. Defend THE UNIVERSE. Defeat THE HUMAN PLAGUE.
  • In any war between BELTS and SUSPENDERS, support YOUR PANTS. Defend YOUR UNDERWEAR. Defeat PLUMBER'S CRACK.
Chiroptera over at Freethought Blogs also supplied, "In any war between the civilized man and the savage, support the one who is in the moral right." I'm sure there are tons of other versions of the slogan that are better than Geller's, and it'd be hilarious to have her hate campaign just be swamped by them.

2 comments:

Tanmoy Chakraborty said...

Funny and outrageous at the same time. It seems that Pam Geller learned about the Middle East by watching 300. :)

Anne Hanna said...

If the Middle East was actually anything like 300, that would be awesome. All those wacky critters would really liven up taxonomy.

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